GE to Mrs. Elma Stuart, London, 11 December 1880
Title
GE to Mrs. Elma Stuart, London, 11 December 1880
Title
GE to Mrs. Elma Stuart, London, 11 December 1880
Sender
George Eliot
Recipient
Mrs. Elma Stuart
Date(s)
- 1880-12-11
Place
London
Letter Content
GE to Mrs. Elma Stuart, London, 11 December 1880
MS: British Museum. Published: Stuart, pp. 163-167.
Cheyne Walk, | Chelsea, S.W.
December 11. 1880.
Dearest Elma
Your letter received this morning has found me in trouble, Mr. Cross having been ill for the last few days (since Monday evening) with what the doctor declares to be a bilious attack, and he is still in a state of suffering which causes me much affliction. But after this let me say that I find some comfort in thinking of your steady improvement and continued warrant for confidence in your new doctor.
With regard to the chief subject of your letter, I judge somewhat differently from you. Years ago an intimate friend of mine, 504 then a young woman of little more than thirty took the step on which Mrs. Menzies has resolved. She had very ardent friendships with other women who remained Protestant and plus-quam-Protestant, but no disruption of such friendships occurred in consequence of her becoming a Catholic. After reading Mrs. Menzies' letter I wonder that your acute penetration and habit of reflection are so beclouded by your emotion (with which I sympathize to a certain extent) that you can think this a case for reasoning and remonstrance. How can you by reasoning overturn what is not based on reasoning but on a sense of need which Catholicism seems to supply? I for my part would not venture to thrust my mind on hers as a sort of omniscient dictatress, when in fact I am very ignorant of the inward springs which determine her action. That she has not spoken to you of her intention until now is no proof that it has not been long ripening, and in fact I see in her letter the expression of a long-felt dissatisfaction and yearning -- a thirst which has found the longed-for water. To insist on ideas or external reasons in opposition to such deeply-felt inclinations is no more effective than the swallowing of a paper prescription.
Remember, dear, that the reason why societies change slowly is, because individual men and women cannot have their natures changed by doctrine and can only be wrought on by little and little. You are as capable as any one of being patient towards inalterable differences of nature in your friends, and though I understand the painful shock you have felt from this sudden revelation, I feel sure that you will presently have a clear vision of the unfitness manifested by your sweet friend's nature for "voyaging in strange seas of thought" 505 and choosing for herself from among philosophical doctrines. There is so much goodness in her that she will have affinity only for the goodness in Catholicism, and what strikes you as contradiction and folly will have no such perturbing effect on her thought. You speak of [Protestant sects] as if their ideas were superior to Catholicism, but surely you would have been equally pained if she had united herself with any fanatical Protestant sect which might easily have prompted some line of action inconsistent with practical attachment to you. I do not foresee that her actual change will have the effect of dividing her from you, if you will only, out of reverence for that sanctuary of inmost feeling which the closest union must leave free from intrusion -- if, I say you will only out of such reverence abstain from dictation, remonstrance or worrying argument which can find no corresponding substance to be argumentatively affected.
I am writing so hurriedly, having a load of anxiety on my mind, that I cannot make my meaning fully intelligible. But I have said enough to show you that I cannot make an appointment with Mrs. Menzies in order to speak with her persuasively or disuasively. But will you tell her that I shall be very glad to see her pretty face if she will call on me any day (except Saturday) after 4.30.
Pardon me, dear if, in my preoccupation of mind, I have used any word that is at all painful to you. That would be the opposite of my wish.
Thanks for the beautiful Photo. If I were you I would never let my hair grow again.
Yours ever affectionately
M. A. Cross. hours later. Mr. Cross is much relieved, and I am more cheerful.
MS: British Museum. Published: Stuart, pp. 163-167.
Cheyne Walk, | Chelsea, S.W.
December 11. 1880.
Dearest Elma
Your letter received this morning has found me in trouble, Mr. Cross having been ill for the last few days (since Monday evening) with what the doctor declares to be a bilious attack, and he is still in a state of suffering which causes me much affliction. But after this let me say that I find some comfort in thinking of your steady improvement and continued warrant for confidence in your new doctor.
With regard to the chief subject of your letter, I judge somewhat differently from you. Years ago an intimate friend of mine, 504 then a young woman of little more than thirty took the step on which Mrs. Menzies has resolved. She had very ardent friendships with other women who remained Protestant and plus-quam-Protestant, but no disruption of such friendships occurred in consequence of her becoming a Catholic. After reading Mrs. Menzies' letter I wonder that your acute penetration and habit of reflection are so beclouded by your emotion (with which I sympathize to a certain extent) that you can think this a case for reasoning and remonstrance. How can you by reasoning overturn what is not based on reasoning but on a sense of need which Catholicism seems to supply? I for my part would not venture to thrust my mind on hers as a sort of omniscient dictatress, when in fact I am very ignorant of the inward springs which determine her action. That she has not spoken to you of her intention until now is no proof that it has not been long ripening, and in fact I see in her letter the expression of a long-felt dissatisfaction and yearning -- a thirst which has found the longed-for water. To insist on ideas or external reasons in opposition to such deeply-felt inclinations is no more effective than the swallowing of a paper prescription.
Remember, dear, that the reason why societies change slowly is, because individual men and women cannot have their natures changed by doctrine and can only be wrought on by little and little. You are as capable as any one of being patient towards inalterable differences of nature in your friends, and though I understand the painful shock you have felt from this sudden revelation, I feel sure that you will presently have a clear vision of the unfitness manifested by your sweet friend's nature for "voyaging in strange seas of thought" 505 and choosing for herself from among philosophical doctrines. There is so much goodness in her that she will have affinity only for the goodness in Catholicism, and what strikes you as contradiction and folly will have no such perturbing effect on her thought. You speak of [Protestant sects] as if their ideas were superior to Catholicism, but surely you would have been equally pained if she had united herself with any fanatical Protestant sect which might easily have prompted some line of action inconsistent with practical attachment to you. I do not foresee that her actual change will have the effect of dividing her from you, if you will only, out of reverence for that sanctuary of inmost feeling which the closest union must leave free from intrusion -- if, I say you will only out of such reverence abstain from dictation, remonstrance or worrying argument which can find no corresponding substance to be argumentatively affected.
I am writing so hurriedly, having a load of anxiety on my mind, that I cannot make my meaning fully intelligible. But I have said enough to show you that I cannot make an appointment with Mrs. Menzies in order to speak with her persuasively or disuasively. But will you tell her that I shall be very glad to see her pretty face if she will call on me any day (except Saturday) after 4.30.
Pardon me, dear if, in my preoccupation of mind, I have used any word that is at all painful to you. That would be the opposite of my wish.
Thanks for the beautiful Photo. If I were you I would never let my hair grow again.
Yours ever affectionately
M. A. Cross. hours later. Mr. Cross is much relieved, and I am more cheerful.
Signature
M. A. Cross.
Citation
George Eliot, GE to Mrs. Elma Stuart, London, 11 December 1880, Complete George Eliot Letters(2026), George Eliot Archive, edited by Beverley Park Rilett. https://GeorgeEliotArchive.org, Accessed September 7, 2026. https://www.georgeeliotarchive.org/items/show/93392