GE to Mr. Charles Bray and Caroline [Mrs. Charles] Bray, Geneva, 20 September [1849]
Title
GE to Mr. Charles Bray and Caroline [Mrs. Charles] Bray, Geneva, 20 September [1849]
Title
GE to Mr. Charles Bray and Caroline [Mrs. Charles] Bray, Geneva, 20 September [1849]
Sender
George Eliot
Recipient
Mr. Charles Bray and Caroline [Mrs. Charles] Bray
Date(s)
- 1849-09-20
Place
Geneva
Letter Content
GE to Mr. Charles Bray and Caroline [Mrs. Charles] Bray, Geneva, 20 September [1849]
MS: Yale. Address: Charles Bray Esq | Rosehill | Coventry | Angleterre | Voie de France. Postmarks: GENEVE | 21 SEPT | 49 | 2s; COVENTRY | SP 25 | 1849. Extracts published: Cross, I, 222-227.
Plongeon Thursday September 20th.
Dear Friends
I began to write to you on Sunday immediately after reading your letters but a headache came on and sent me to bed where I lay till Wednesday morning. I am better now and am feeling particularly happy because I have had very kind letters from my brother and sisters. I am quite timid about writing to you because Sara tells me that Mr. Hennell says "there is much that is morbid in your character (his observations were upon your letters only) with a dwelling on yourself and a loving to think yourself unhappy." 839 Nothing can be truer than the observation, but I am distressed and surprized that this is so very evident from letters in which I have really tried to avoid everything which could give you pain and have imagined that I have only told you of agreeables except the last, which I hope you understood to be playful in its grumbling. I am ashamed to fill sheets about myself, but I imagined that this was precisely what you wished. Pray correct my mistake, if it be one, and then I will look over the Calvin M.S.S. 840 and give you some information of really general interest, suited to our mutual capacities.
My arrangements are not made at present, but I am going with Mde. de Ludwigsdorff to-morrow to ascertain further particulars. Mde. Gaussen is undecided at present about a Hanoverian family -- but I think I told you that. If I cannot go there I shall go if possible to a M. Laboche's 841 where Mde. de L. will be if she come back here for the winter after going to Vienna. I hope she will -- she is so good to me -- a charming creature -- so anxious to see me comfortably settled -- petting me in all sorts of ways. She sends me tea when I wake in the morning, orangeflower water when I go to bed, grapes, and her maid to wait on me. She says if I like she will spend the winter after this at Paris with me and introduce me to her friends there -- but she does not mean to attach herself to me, because I shall never like her long. I shall be tired of her when I have sifted her etc. She says I have more intellect than morale -- and other things more true than agreeable -- however she "is greatly interested in me" -- has told me her troubles and her feelings, she says, in spite of herself -- for she has never been able before in her life to say so much even to her old friends -- it is a mystery she cannot unravel. 842 She is a person of high culture according to the ordinary notions of what feminine culture should be. She speaks French and German perfectly, plays well, and has the most perfect polish of manner, the most thorough refinement both socially and morally. She reminds me of Cara in one thing, though not like her generally. Her character is really remarkably destitute of animalism and she has just that sort of antipathy towards people who offend her refined instincts which we know so well in another person. She is tall and handsome -- a striking looking person but with a sweet feminine expression when she is with those she likes -- dresses exquisitely -- in fine is all that I am not. I shall tire you with all this, but I want you to know what good creatures there are here as elsewhere.
Then there are the Forbeses -- Mr. Forbes with a fine moral and intellectual head but spoiled by immense pride and vanity, which betray themselves in his thin affected-looking lips at the first glance. Miss Forbes, 843 for whose health they are travelling, is a good creature. They are very evangelical. [Three words deleted.] Miss Forbes tells me that the first day she sat by my side at dinner she looked at me and thought to herself, "That is a grave lady. I do not think I shall like her much" -- but as soon as I spoke to her and she looked into my eyes she felt she could love me. Then she lent me a book written by her cousin -- a religious novel "Use and Abuse" -- (by Miss Skene 844 now living at Leamington) -- in which there is a fearful infidel who will not believe and hates all who do etc. etc. Then she invited me to walk with her and came to talk in my room -- then invited me to go to the Oratoire with them -- till I began to be uncomfortable under the idea that they fancied I was evangelical and that I was gaining their affection under false pretenses -- so I told Miss Forbes that I was going to sacrifice her good opinion and confess my heresies. I quite expected from their manner and character that they would forsake me in horror, but they are as kind as ever. They never go into the salon in the evening, and I have almost forsaken it, spending the evening frequently in Mde. de Ludwigsdorff's room, where we have some delightful tea. The tea of the house here is execrable -- or rather as Mrs. Wood says, "How glad we should be it has no taste at all -- it might have a very bad one." I like the Woods -- they are very good-natured. Mrs. Wood a very ugly but lady-like little woman who is under an infatuation as it regards her caps, always wearing the brightest rose-colour or intensest blue, with a complexion not unlike a dirty primrose glove. Mr. Wood is an old gentleman, a thorough man of the world who makes one feel quite cosy when he sits by one with his little jokes and fireside way of talking about everything. The rest of the people are nothing to me -- except indeed dear old Mlle. de Phaisan, who comes into my room when I am ill with Qu'est ce que vous avez, ma bonne? in the tone of the kindest old aunt and thinks that I am the most aimable, douce créature -- which will give you a better opinion of her charity than her penetration.
You ask me to tell you what Mr. Sibree said. I was sitting about 7 o'clock under the trees looking at the lake -- Mde. de Valli'e8re and M. Dumont were standing by me -- when Mr. Sibree appeared, looking (M. Dumont said afterwards) rather ému -- which is to be interpreted silly. He introduced a vulgar-looking man, exceedingly oily, pitted with the small-pox as "My brother from Birmingham." 845 I received him very politely indeed with my usual hypocrisy, begged him to sit down etc. He said that the Jura mountains looked he couldn't help thinking like a great cloud -- that travelling required three things, one of which he had forgotten however -- that he could only speak broken French -- and a variety of things which it was really worth while to walk from Geneva to say for the sake of reconciling me to being away from you, since I could not be with you without being at Coventry.
Dear creatures -- no one is so good as you yet. I have not yet found any one who can bear comparison with you, not in kindness to me -- 'e7a va sans dire -- but in solidity of mind and in expansion of feeling. This is a very coarse thing to say, but it came to the end of my pen and litera scripta manet -- at least when it comes at the end of the second page. It is true that young Sibree has Mill's Logic 846 which you will do well to ask him for -- he keeps books long enough to take a manuscript copy of them. I am greatly obliged to Mr. Buckingham 847 for his good opinion of you. You must give me a better compliment than "that he has written more books than most people have read," which was ingenious enough for the Delphic oracle.
I shall certainly stay at Geneva this winter, and shall return to Eng[land] as early as the spring weather will permit always supposing that nothing occurs to alter my plan. I am still thin and my hair is falling off -- so how much will be left of me by next April I am afraid to imagine. I shall be length without breadth -- quite bald and without money to buy a wig -- but Mr. Hennell will think that I am fancying myself unhappy. The cholera is not at Geneva -- the medical men say it is cholera-proof. 848 The place is crowded with foreigners, the Hotels quite full. I have received <3> 4 papers. A thousand thanks for them. Cara's assurance that you are well and comfortable is worth a luncheon to me -- which is just the thing I am generally most in want of, for we dine at 6 now. I love to imagine you in your home, and everything seems easy to me when I am not disturbed about the health or well-being of my loved ones -- my family and my still dearer friends. It is really so -- I do not say it out of any sort of affectation, benevolent or otherwise. I am without carefulness -- alas! in more senses than one. Thank Sara very heartily for her letter. I do not write a special sheet for her today, because I have to write to two or three other people, but she must not the less believe how I valued a little private morsel from her, and also that I would always rather she wrote [from herself] than [to me] -- that is my theory of letter-writing.
I am glad to hear that Nelly is flourishing -- give my love to her and tell her that I shall want her to tell me all the stories Mamma teaches her when I go back to England because I have no one to tell me stories here, so she must keep them all ready for me. Dear Mrs. Pears! I am distressed to hear of her trouble. I wonder if she would like me to write to her -- if she would I should [be] most glad to do it. Do not forget to let me know how she and Mr. Pears are in your next letter. Write again soon I beseech you. Your letters are as welcome as Elijah's ravens 849 -- I thought of saying the dinner-bell, only that would be too gross. I get impatient at the end of the 10 days which it takes for our letters to go to and fro, and I have not the least faith in the necessity for keeping the sheet 3 or 4 days before Mr. Bray can find time to write his meagre bit. I hope you will have enjoyed your visitors -- the Dawsons and Smiths 850 -- venerable names, in one sense if not in all. If you see the Miss Franklins give my love to them -- my remembrances to Mr. and Mrs. Whittem -- love to Miss Sibree always, but I cannot write to her except to her own house. Hearty love to Clapton and Woodford -- and a very diffusive benevolence to the world in general without any particular attachment to A or B -- I am trying to please Mr. Bray.
Goodbye, dear Souls. Dominus Vobiscum.
MS: Yale. Address: Charles Bray Esq | Rosehill | Coventry | Angleterre | Voie de France. Postmarks: GENEVE | 21 SEPT | 49 | 2s; COVENTRY | SP 25 | 1849. Extracts published: Cross, I, 222-227.
Plongeon Thursday September 20th.
Dear Friends
I began to write to you on Sunday immediately after reading your letters but a headache came on and sent me to bed where I lay till Wednesday morning. I am better now and am feeling particularly happy because I have had very kind letters from my brother and sisters. I am quite timid about writing to you because Sara tells me that Mr. Hennell says "there is much that is morbid in your character (his observations were upon your letters only) with a dwelling on yourself and a loving to think yourself unhappy." 839 Nothing can be truer than the observation, but I am distressed and surprized that this is so very evident from letters in which I have really tried to avoid everything which could give you pain and have imagined that I have only told you of agreeables except the last, which I hope you understood to be playful in its grumbling. I am ashamed to fill sheets about myself, but I imagined that this was precisely what you wished. Pray correct my mistake, if it be one, and then I will look over the Calvin M.S.S. 840 and give you some information of really general interest, suited to our mutual capacities.
My arrangements are not made at present, but I am going with Mde. de Ludwigsdorff to-morrow to ascertain further particulars. Mde. Gaussen is undecided at present about a Hanoverian family -- but I think I told you that. If I cannot go there I shall go if possible to a M. Laboche's 841 where Mde. de L. will be if she come back here for the winter after going to Vienna. I hope she will -- she is so good to me -- a charming creature -- so anxious to see me comfortably settled -- petting me in all sorts of ways. She sends me tea when I wake in the morning, orangeflower water when I go to bed, grapes, and her maid to wait on me. She says if I like she will spend the winter after this at Paris with me and introduce me to her friends there -- but she does not mean to attach herself to me, because I shall never like her long. I shall be tired of her when I have sifted her etc. She says I have more intellect than morale -- and other things more true than agreeable -- however she "is greatly interested in me" -- has told me her troubles and her feelings, she says, in spite of herself -- for she has never been able before in her life to say so much even to her old friends -- it is a mystery she cannot unravel. 842 She is a person of high culture according to the ordinary notions of what feminine culture should be. She speaks French and German perfectly, plays well, and has the most perfect polish of manner, the most thorough refinement both socially and morally. She reminds me of Cara in one thing, though not like her generally. Her character is really remarkably destitute of animalism and she has just that sort of antipathy towards people who offend her refined instincts which we know so well in another person. She is tall and handsome -- a striking looking person but with a sweet feminine expression when she is with those she likes -- dresses exquisitely -- in fine is all that I am not. I shall tire you with all this, but I want you to know what good creatures there are here as elsewhere.
Then there are the Forbeses -- Mr. Forbes with a fine moral and intellectual head but spoiled by immense pride and vanity, which betray themselves in his thin affected-looking lips at the first glance. Miss Forbes, 843 for whose health they are travelling, is a good creature. They are very evangelical. [Three words deleted.] Miss Forbes tells me that the first day she sat by my side at dinner she looked at me and thought to herself, "That is a grave lady. I do not think I shall like her much" -- but as soon as I spoke to her and she looked into my eyes she felt she could love me. Then she lent me a book written by her cousin -- a religious novel "Use and Abuse" -- (by Miss Skene 844 now living at Leamington) -- in which there is a fearful infidel who will not believe and hates all who do etc. etc. Then she invited me to walk with her and came to talk in my room -- then invited me to go to the Oratoire with them -- till I began to be uncomfortable under the idea that they fancied I was evangelical and that I was gaining their affection under false pretenses -- so I told Miss Forbes that I was going to sacrifice her good opinion and confess my heresies. I quite expected from their manner and character that they would forsake me in horror, but they are as kind as ever. They never go into the salon in the evening, and I have almost forsaken it, spending the evening frequently in Mde. de Ludwigsdorff's room, where we have some delightful tea. The tea of the house here is execrable -- or rather as Mrs. Wood says, "How glad we should be it has no taste at all -- it might have a very bad one." I like the Woods -- they are very good-natured. Mrs. Wood a very ugly but lady-like little woman who is under an infatuation as it regards her caps, always wearing the brightest rose-colour or intensest blue, with a complexion not unlike a dirty primrose glove. Mr. Wood is an old gentleman, a thorough man of the world who makes one feel quite cosy when he sits by one with his little jokes and fireside way of talking about everything. The rest of the people are nothing to me -- except indeed dear old Mlle. de Phaisan, who comes into my room when I am ill with Qu'est ce que vous avez, ma bonne? in the tone of the kindest old aunt and thinks that I am the most aimable, douce créature -- which will give you a better opinion of her charity than her penetration.
You ask me to tell you what Mr. Sibree said. I was sitting about 7 o'clock under the trees looking at the lake -- Mde. de Valli'e8re and M. Dumont were standing by me -- when Mr. Sibree appeared, looking (M. Dumont said afterwards) rather ému -- which is to be interpreted silly. He introduced a vulgar-looking man, exceedingly oily, pitted with the small-pox as "My brother from Birmingham." 845 I received him very politely indeed with my usual hypocrisy, begged him to sit down etc. He said that the Jura mountains looked he couldn't help thinking like a great cloud -- that travelling required three things, one of which he had forgotten however -- that he could only speak broken French -- and a variety of things which it was really worth while to walk from Geneva to say for the sake of reconciling me to being away from you, since I could not be with you without being at Coventry.
Dear creatures -- no one is so good as you yet. I have not yet found any one who can bear comparison with you, not in kindness to me -- 'e7a va sans dire -- but in solidity of mind and in expansion of feeling. This is a very coarse thing to say, but it came to the end of my pen and litera scripta manet -- at least when it comes at the end of the second page. It is true that young Sibree has Mill's Logic 846 which you will do well to ask him for -- he keeps books long enough to take a manuscript copy of them. I am greatly obliged to Mr. Buckingham 847 for his good opinion of you. You must give me a better compliment than "that he has written more books than most people have read," which was ingenious enough for the Delphic oracle.
I shall certainly stay at Geneva this winter, and shall return to Eng[land] as early as the spring weather will permit always supposing that nothing occurs to alter my plan. I am still thin and my hair is falling off -- so how much will be left of me by next April I am afraid to imagine. I shall be length without breadth -- quite bald and without money to buy a wig -- but Mr. Hennell will think that I am fancying myself unhappy. The cholera is not at Geneva -- the medical men say it is cholera-proof. 848 The place is crowded with foreigners, the Hotels quite full. I have received <3> 4 papers. A thousand thanks for them. Cara's assurance that you are well and comfortable is worth a luncheon to me -- which is just the thing I am generally most in want of, for we dine at 6 now. I love to imagine you in your home, and everything seems easy to me when I am not disturbed about the health or well-being of my loved ones -- my family and my still dearer friends. It is really so -- I do not say it out of any sort of affectation, benevolent or otherwise. I am without carefulness -- alas! in more senses than one. Thank Sara very heartily for her letter. I do not write a special sheet for her today, because I have to write to two or three other people, but she must not the less believe how I valued a little private morsel from her, and also that I would always rather she wrote [from herself] than [to me] -- that is my theory of letter-writing.
I am glad to hear that Nelly is flourishing -- give my love to her and tell her that I shall want her to tell me all the stories Mamma teaches her when I go back to England because I have no one to tell me stories here, so she must keep them all ready for me. Dear Mrs. Pears! I am distressed to hear of her trouble. I wonder if she would like me to write to her -- if she would I should [be] most glad to do it. Do not forget to let me know how she and Mr. Pears are in your next letter. Write again soon I beseech you. Your letters are as welcome as Elijah's ravens 849 -- I thought of saying the dinner-bell, only that would be too gross. I get impatient at the end of the 10 days which it takes for our letters to go to and fro, and I have not the least faith in the necessity for keeping the sheet 3 or 4 days before Mr. Bray can find time to write his meagre bit. I hope you will have enjoyed your visitors -- the Dawsons and Smiths 850 -- venerable names, in one sense if not in all. If you see the Miss Franklins give my love to them -- my remembrances to Mr. and Mrs. Whittem -- love to Miss Sibree always, but I cannot write to her except to her own house. Hearty love to Clapton and Woodford -- and a very diffusive benevolence to the world in general without any particular attachment to A or B -- I am trying to please Mr. Bray.
Goodbye, dear Souls. Dominus Vobiscum.
Citation
George Eliot, GE to Mr. Charles Bray and Caroline [Mrs. Charles] Bray, Geneva, 20 September [1849], Complete George Eliot Letters(2026), George Eliot Archive, edited by Beverley Park Rilett. https://GeorgeEliotArchive.org, Accessed September 7, 2026. https://www.georgeeliotarchive.org/items/show/93161