Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 8-12 December 1877
Title
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 8-12 December 1877
Title
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 8-12 December 1877
Sender
Edith Simcox
Recipient
U
Date(s)
- 1877-12-08–<br /> 1877-12-12
Place
London
Letter Content
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 8-12 December 1877
MS: Bodleian. Brief extract published: McKenzie, p. 43.
Saturday 8 December 1877
December 8. If things are less pleasant today I can scarcely blame myself. It is nothing -- a trifle -- but then the wise agree that trifles are much. It is a card from Lewes, asking me if I was coming today not to arrive early as they had some business matters to discuss. As it happens today was the anniversary of the day -- 5 years ago -- when I first saw her handwriting
-- of the day three years ago when I dined with them and she read her "Symposium" to me. 393 What a singularly complete ass I must be to remain even more of a stranger to her now than three years ago. But I have renounced. I will not "thirst" again. I hardly do. My heart has ached, a few tears have come, but the pain is passive.
Wednesday 12 December 1877
December 12. At 5 o'clock next day i.e. the Monday 5 years of her first letter, a note came asking me to go and see her one day this week. Of course I went yesterday. She kissed me at length. Lewes also was kind. I forget what was spoken of first -- no I don't -- it was the state of the shop, 394 trade in general, French politics and the fall of Plevna. 395 Then I said Mary Hamilton was gone to Scotland and that her mother was getting tired of not going up the Nile, and mentioned casually that she was unhappy at her daughter's not marrying. Mr. Lewes seemed to think there was no hurry, and I said at 27 there was not much time to lose. She said marriages had seemed to be getting later and later and she was -- of course -- rather wroth with me for expressing a prejudice against late marriages; she thought that people who go on developing may have a much better chance of happiness in marrying after thirty than at 20; she was so beautiful and I was so fond of her that I wasn't angry when she proceeded to affirm that I had never been so fit to marry as now -- I answered "that wasn't saying much" -- to which with a sweet laugh and a still sweeter gesticulation -- that brought her hand within reach of my lips -- that she didn't pretend that her speeches amounted to much -- it was enough if they came to a little. At which I laughed resignedly.
Then she asked what I had been doing, and I said nothing -- I had been reading Wilhelm Meister; she was curious to know how it impressed me: she had much disliked Lothario, his special objection was the beteutende Mariana and the Macaria business: 396 she thought it strange that with such perfectly finished dramatic passages all Goethe's prose works should be so unequal and without finished unity; was grateful to me for quoting the phrase Vielen das Erwunschte.
Then I made the confession I wished -- that I had shaken hands with Bradlaugh and Mrs. Besant. 397 Of course she asked how that might be -- and of course, on the whole, all things well weighed, she wished me not to have my name printed in the same list with theirs or Mrs. Harriet Law's. 398 She gave full weight to the dread of Pharisaism, and said incidentally some kindly sounding things of my qualifications for useful influence, suggested that I should lecture to these friends and brothers.
MS: Bodleian. Brief extract published: McKenzie, p. 43.
Saturday 8 December 1877
December 8. If things are less pleasant today I can scarcely blame myself. It is nothing -- a trifle -- but then the wise agree that trifles are much. It is a card from Lewes, asking me if I was coming today not to arrive early as they had some business matters to discuss. As it happens today was the anniversary of the day -- 5 years ago -- when I first saw her handwriting
-- of the day three years ago when I dined with them and she read her "Symposium" to me. 393 What a singularly complete ass I must be to remain even more of a stranger to her now than three years ago. But I have renounced. I will not "thirst" again. I hardly do. My heart has ached, a few tears have come, but the pain is passive.
Wednesday 12 December 1877
December 12. At 5 o'clock next day i.e. the Monday 5 years of her first letter, a note came asking me to go and see her one day this week. Of course I went yesterday. She kissed me at length. Lewes also was kind. I forget what was spoken of first -- no I don't -- it was the state of the shop, 394 trade in general, French politics and the fall of Plevna. 395 Then I said Mary Hamilton was gone to Scotland and that her mother was getting tired of not going up the Nile, and mentioned casually that she was unhappy at her daughter's not marrying. Mr. Lewes seemed to think there was no hurry, and I said at 27 there was not much time to lose. She said marriages had seemed to be getting later and later and she was -- of course -- rather wroth with me for expressing a prejudice against late marriages; she thought that people who go on developing may have a much better chance of happiness in marrying after thirty than at 20; she was so beautiful and I was so fond of her that I wasn't angry when she proceeded to affirm that I had never been so fit to marry as now -- I answered "that wasn't saying much" -- to which with a sweet laugh and a still sweeter gesticulation -- that brought her hand within reach of my lips -- that she didn't pretend that her speeches amounted to much -- it was enough if they came to a little. At which I laughed resignedly.
Then she asked what I had been doing, and I said nothing -- I had been reading Wilhelm Meister; she was curious to know how it impressed me: she had much disliked Lothario, his special objection was the beteutende Mariana and the Macaria business: 396 she thought it strange that with such perfectly finished dramatic passages all Goethe's prose works should be so unequal and without finished unity; was grateful to me for quoting the phrase Vielen das Erwunschte.
Then I made the confession I wished -- that I had shaken hands with Bradlaugh and Mrs. Besant. 397 Of course she asked how that might be -- and of course, on the whole, all things well weighed, she wished me not to have my name printed in the same list with theirs or Mrs. Harriet Law's. 398 She gave full weight to the dread of Pharisaism, and said incidentally some kindly sounding things of my qualifications for useful influence, suggested that I should lecture to these friends and brothers.
Citation
Edith Simcox, Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 8-12 December 1877, Complete George Eliot Letters(2026), George Eliot Archive, edited by Beverley Park Rilett. https://GeorgeEliotArchive.org, Accessed September 7, 2026. https://www.georgeeliotarchive.org/items/show/91814