Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 22 November 1878
Title
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 22 November 1878
Title
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 22 November 1878
Sender
Edith Simcox
Recipient
U
Date(s)
- 1878-11-22
Place
London
Letter Content
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 22 November 1878
MS: Bodleian. Published: McKenzie, pp. 93-94.
Friday 22 November 1878
Monday came at last, but hardly the greeting I had dreamt of; the first thing I saw was Lewes stretched upon the sofa, and in concern for him I lost something of the sight of her. He was affectionate, and when I said I wanted to kiss her feet he said he would let me do it as much as I liked -- or -- correcting himself -- as much as she liked. He could enter into the desire though she couldn't. I did in spite of her protests lie down before the fire and for one short moment give the passionate kisses that filled my eyes with tears: -- and for the rest of the evening her feet avoided the footstool where I had found them then. -- Still though I would rather have had the kisses ungrudged -- I would rather have the memory of them thus than not at all. She was unhappy about him, I cried all the way back -- at the intense pain of her anxiety -- which I was tempted to share. I was sorry for myself too: all one's gladness turned to pain; and the hopes lost of pleasing her for a moment with loving sense and nonsense. At first I felt hopeless, what could one do but shut oneself up with ones grief?
MS: Bodleian. Published: McKenzie, pp. 93-94.
Friday 22 November 1878
Monday came at last, but hardly the greeting I had dreamt of; the first thing I saw was Lewes stretched upon the sofa, and in concern for him I lost something of the sight of her. He was affectionate, and when I said I wanted to kiss her feet he said he would let me do it as much as I liked -- or -- correcting himself -- as much as she liked. He could enter into the desire though she couldn't. I did in spite of her protests lie down before the fire and for one short moment give the passionate kisses that filled my eyes with tears: -- and for the rest of the evening her feet avoided the footstool where I had found them then. -- Still though I would rather have had the kisses ungrudged -- I would rather have the memory of them thus than not at all. She was unhappy about him, I cried all the way back -- at the intense pain of her anxiety -- which I was tempted to share. I was sorry for myself too: all one's gladness turned to pain; and the hopes lost of pleasing her for a moment with loving sense and nonsense. At first I felt hopeless, what could one do but shut oneself up with ones grief?
Citation
Edith Simcox, Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 22 November 1878, Complete George Eliot Letters(2026), George Eliot Archive, edited by Beverley Park Rilett. https://GeorgeEliotArchive.org, Accessed September 7, 2026. https://www.georgeeliotarchive.org/items/show/91788