Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 19 March 1879
Title
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 19 March 1879
Title
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 19 March 1879
Sender
Edith Simcox
Recipient
U
Date(s)
- 1879-03-19
Place
London
Letter Content
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 19 March 1879
MS: Bodleian.
Wednesday 19 March 1879
This afternoon Eleanor Cross came again. Johnny saw her on Tuesday and thought her better, but I grieve to hear she is dissatisfied about her work -- if that anxiety begins I fear neither peace nor health can be looked for. If one could only help and comfort her in that -- but no possible changes in the past could have made that less impossible than now. She was going to see Mrs. Congreve yesterday. She told Johnny she shrank from seeing people -- also that she was going to see Mrs. Stuart. -- I think that must be my doing -- on Monday [17 March] at the end of the short note acknowledging hers about the shirts, I said Elma was better, going to leave town in 2 or 3 weeks, and "as she talked of wintering in a warm climate it might be a year before she was in England again." -- I feared whether this was saying too much -- seeming to make a suggestion, and yet I feared for Elma's soul if she had to leave England without a word. My dread of seeing Her grows more and more intense and yet -- if one only might, there are so many ways in which I could serve her more easily and gladly than perhaps anyone else -- if she could feel it possible. Johnny said she seemed better. Yet whatever happens there is always in my ears as it were her voice silencing every half-rising murmur "Am I then upon a bed of roses?" Dearest -- I would be content to live forever outside your love if my endurance could spare you but a moment of the scorching pain.
MS: Bodleian.
Wednesday 19 March 1879
This afternoon Eleanor Cross came again. Johnny saw her on Tuesday and thought her better, but I grieve to hear she is dissatisfied about her work -- if that anxiety begins I fear neither peace nor health can be looked for. If one could only help and comfort her in that -- but no possible changes in the past could have made that less impossible than now. She was going to see Mrs. Congreve yesterday. She told Johnny she shrank from seeing people -- also that she was going to see Mrs. Stuart. -- I think that must be my doing -- on Monday [17 March] at the end of the short note acknowledging hers about the shirts, I said Elma was better, going to leave town in 2 or 3 weeks, and "as she talked of wintering in a warm climate it might be a year before she was in England again." -- I feared whether this was saying too much -- seeming to make a suggestion, and yet I feared for Elma's soul if she had to leave England without a word. My dread of seeing Her grows more and more intense and yet -- if one only might, there are so many ways in which I could serve her more easily and gladly than perhaps anyone else -- if she could feel it possible. Johnny said she seemed better. Yet whatever happens there is always in my ears as it were her voice silencing every half-rising murmur "Am I then upon a bed of roses?" Dearest -- I would be content to live forever outside your love if my endurance could spare you but a moment of the scorching pain.
Citation
Edith Simcox, Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 19 March 1879, Complete George Eliot Letters(2026), George Eliot Archive, edited by Beverley Park Rilett. https://GeorgeEliotArchive.org, Accessed September 7, 2026. https://www.georgeeliotarchive.org/items/show/91780