Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 17-18 March 1878
Title
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 17-18 March 1878
Title
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 17-18 March 1878
Sender
Edith Simcox
Recipient
U
Date(s)
- 1878-03-17–<br /> 1878-03-18
Place
London
Letter Content
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 17-18 March 1878
MS: Bodleian.
Sunday 17 March 1878
March 17. On the 11th after 3 weeks all but a day, ventured again. She had been poorly, with a cold and thought I was never coming again. She was alone when I got there, but all is gone from me of what passed except that I found myself being scolded by both of them at once for unresponsive, cold and apparently supercilious manners.
Oh yes! I asked about the Lifted Veil. Lewes said it came out in Blackwood 428 without name soon after Adam Bede. He asked what I thought of it. I was embarrassed and said -- as he did -- that it was not at all like her other writings, wherefrom she differed; she said it was "schauderhaft" was it, and I yes; but I was put out by things that I didn't quite know what to do with -- it was a shame to give such things a moral, but --: He Oh, but the moral is plain enough -- it is only an exaggeration of what happens -- the onesided knowing of things in relation to the self -- not whole knowledge because "tout comprehendre est tout pardonner." She said he wasn't in the habit of asking people before her what they thought of her books -- which was rather hard on the people -- I was at least unnecessary then since she must know. She said she didn't at all, and she had never felt with me as she had with many people what it was in her books that worked on me; she had never felt that I had been influenced either by what she wrote or what she said. I looked protests and then they both went on. Lewes said that it was months before I so much as looked at, let alone spoke to him; his amour propre was not hurt but he observed it. She said -- if he was not sensitive in that way, she was. I hardly said anything in self defence. I quoted George Sand "On n'aime pas ceux qui ne s'aiment pas eux-m'eames et qui par consequent ne t'e2chent pas de plaire." She said but I had wanted to please her -- and the sentence finished itself "and you see you did not succeed" -- in the same breath she said -- "I don't mean that" -- But it was something to know that all my tears and agony had not been for nothing. I was as miserable as ever I had believed.
Monday 18 March 1878
March 18. I went today again as I had meant -- All the more though for a letter that came this morning -- she had been cheered by a letter I wrote last Thursday (about the effect of her books on me) after an abortive attempt to see her, baffled by the sight of a pony carriage at the door. Today Lewes was unhappy about a friend, a self-taught correspondent for whom he had got a clerkship, who is threatened with blindness. 429 I stayed a long hour, yet have not much to record. I got out most of what I meant to say about my general social demeanour. Lewes laid it down as a principle that a man would much rather forgive you for boring him than for letting him imagine he bored you. He said he was not speaking for himself, for there was nothing he was so impatient of as being bored. When reviewers were spoken of I said I hoped they sometimes spoke the truth by mistake and quoted the Athenaeum; 430 she seemed interested but surprised and said "No doubt he had a nasty meaning" -- which Lewes said was hard on both him and me. She is a darling. I told her I was going to do Hartmann and she wanted me to make notes of my dissent as I went along and publish an independent criticism. Lewes would not hear of the idea of a dissentient preface. She is a darling. -- I feel as if I was going to be good for a long time on end.
MS: Bodleian.
Sunday 17 March 1878
March 17. On the 11th after 3 weeks all but a day, ventured again. She had been poorly, with a cold and thought I was never coming again. She was alone when I got there, but all is gone from me of what passed except that I found myself being scolded by both of them at once for unresponsive, cold and apparently supercilious manners.
Oh yes! I asked about the Lifted Veil. Lewes said it came out in Blackwood 428 without name soon after Adam Bede. He asked what I thought of it. I was embarrassed and said -- as he did -- that it was not at all like her other writings, wherefrom she differed; she said it was "schauderhaft" was it, and I yes; but I was put out by things that I didn't quite know what to do with -- it was a shame to give such things a moral, but --: He Oh, but the moral is plain enough -- it is only an exaggeration of what happens -- the onesided knowing of things in relation to the self -- not whole knowledge because "tout comprehendre est tout pardonner." She said he wasn't in the habit of asking people before her what they thought of her books -- which was rather hard on the people -- I was at least unnecessary then since she must know. She said she didn't at all, and she had never felt with me as she had with many people what it was in her books that worked on me; she had never felt that I had been influenced either by what she wrote or what she said. I looked protests and then they both went on. Lewes said that it was months before I so much as looked at, let alone spoke to him; his amour propre was not hurt but he observed it. She said -- if he was not sensitive in that way, she was. I hardly said anything in self defence. I quoted George Sand "On n'aime pas ceux qui ne s'aiment pas eux-m'eames et qui par consequent ne t'e2chent pas de plaire." She said but I had wanted to please her -- and the sentence finished itself "and you see you did not succeed" -- in the same breath she said -- "I don't mean that" -- But it was something to know that all my tears and agony had not been for nothing. I was as miserable as ever I had believed.
Monday 18 March 1878
March 18. I went today again as I had meant -- All the more though for a letter that came this morning -- she had been cheered by a letter I wrote last Thursday (about the effect of her books on me) after an abortive attempt to see her, baffled by the sight of a pony carriage at the door. Today Lewes was unhappy about a friend, a self-taught correspondent for whom he had got a clerkship, who is threatened with blindness. 429 I stayed a long hour, yet have not much to record. I got out most of what I meant to say about my general social demeanour. Lewes laid it down as a principle that a man would much rather forgive you for boring him than for letting him imagine he bored you. He said he was not speaking for himself, for there was nothing he was so impatient of as being bored. When reviewers were spoken of I said I hoped they sometimes spoke the truth by mistake and quoted the Athenaeum; 430 she seemed interested but surprised and said "No doubt he had a nasty meaning" -- which Lewes said was hard on both him and me. She is a darling. I told her I was going to do Hartmann and she wanted me to make notes of my dissent as I went along and publish an independent criticism. Lewes would not hear of the idea of a dissentient preface. She is a darling. -- I feel as if I was going to be good for a long time on end.
Citation
Edith Simcox, Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 17-18 March 1878, Complete George Eliot Letters(2026), George Eliot Archive, edited by Beverley Park Rilett. https://GeorgeEliotArchive.org, Accessed September 7, 2026. https://www.georgeeliotarchive.org/items/show/91778