Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 16-22 June 1878
Title
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 16-22 June 1878
Title
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 16-22 June 1878
Sender
Edith Simcox
Recipient
U
Date(s)
- 1878-06-16–<br /> 1878-06-22
Place
London
Letter Content
Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 16-22 June 1878
MS: Bodleian.
Sunday 16 June 1878
June 16. I told her (on the 29th) that my idea of happiness was to buy her slop-pails for her. -- whereto she -- "They are all bought now" -- I wrote in sending the desired bill for the silks, 452 that that completed the definition in a tragic fashion, and rashly committed myself by a promise to leave her alone for a space. The next week I took holiday from the shop and for the last fortnight have been trying the experiment of living like other people -- gardening, visiting, shopping, reading, sewing, carpentering and so on. I have not minded it for a change -- but the fortnight has not been short. Last Sunday -- only 10 long days after my rash promise I wrote to her again -- partly about Daniel Deronda that I had read through in the first days of my holiday. After luncheon on Wednesday I went to take some syringa, not knowing whether she would be back from Oxford. They were out driving. Last night came one of those sweet envelopes, bidding me come tomorrow for the dreaded farewell: after which life becomes a blank for alas! nearly 5 months.
Saturday 22 June 1878
I went on Monday "towards 6 o'clock." She was alone and very beautiful. The travelling book case was in the hall and general signs of discomfort; they were going down on Wednesday. Elizabeth is going to be married. I just remember exchanging a few words about these things and then -- I cannot in the very least recal the transition, she said it was a shame to find fault with me the last day but she wanted to give me a parting exhortation. -- The old story: she said I was uncivil to Johnny the other day -- my unlucky "only Mr. Cross" I suppose that really was supercilious and indifferent, that she herself even now had a difficulty sometimes in realizing that I was not feeling superciliously towards her. She said perhaps one reason was that I "did not like men" -- against which I protested as usual -- perhaps as usual in vain, and then by way of diversion I related my last attempts at sociability. At half past six Lewes came in and asked me if I had prayed for him for his goodness in staying away: as usual I was unready with the answer. Then I had to go; they left the room with me. She said to him she had been finding fault with me -- I think but am not sure adding it was good if I did not mind, anyway adding that she did not like people to find fault with her.
MS: Bodleian.
Sunday 16 June 1878
June 16. I told her (on the 29th) that my idea of happiness was to buy her slop-pails for her. -- whereto she -- "They are all bought now" -- I wrote in sending the desired bill for the silks, 452 that that completed the definition in a tragic fashion, and rashly committed myself by a promise to leave her alone for a space. The next week I took holiday from the shop and for the last fortnight have been trying the experiment of living like other people -- gardening, visiting, shopping, reading, sewing, carpentering and so on. I have not minded it for a change -- but the fortnight has not been short. Last Sunday -- only 10 long days after my rash promise I wrote to her again -- partly about Daniel Deronda that I had read through in the first days of my holiday. After luncheon on Wednesday I went to take some syringa, not knowing whether she would be back from Oxford. They were out driving. Last night came one of those sweet envelopes, bidding me come tomorrow for the dreaded farewell: after which life becomes a blank for alas! nearly 5 months.
Saturday 22 June 1878
I went on Monday "towards 6 o'clock." She was alone and very beautiful. The travelling book case was in the hall and general signs of discomfort; they were going down on Wednesday. Elizabeth is going to be married. I just remember exchanging a few words about these things and then -- I cannot in the very least recal the transition, she said it was a shame to find fault with me the last day but she wanted to give me a parting exhortation. -- The old story: she said I was uncivil to Johnny the other day -- my unlucky "only Mr. Cross" I suppose that really was supercilious and indifferent, that she herself even now had a difficulty sometimes in realizing that I was not feeling superciliously towards her. She said perhaps one reason was that I "did not like men" -- against which I protested as usual -- perhaps as usual in vain, and then by way of diversion I related my last attempts at sociability. At half past six Lewes came in and asked me if I had prayed for him for his goodness in staying away: as usual I was unready with the answer. Then I had to go; they left the room with me. She said to him she had been finding fault with me -- I think but am not sure adding it was good if I did not mind, anyway adding that she did not like people to find fault with her.
Citation
Edith Simcox, Edith Simcox, Autobiography, 16-22 June 1878, Complete George Eliot Letters(2026), George Eliot Archive, edited by Beverley Park Rilett. https://GeorgeEliotArchive.org, Accessed September 7, 2026. https://www.georgeeliotarchive.org/items/show/91775